Over the last couple of weekends, Holden has had some very successful one-on-one playdates. I call them successful because the crying was at a minimum, for everyone. For the first time, we saw him interact without needing very much adult supervision, and it was heartening to see. Holden generally needs a lot of attention and, even when other kids his own age are around, checks in with us constantly. At Katelyn's last week, probably a whole 20 or 30 minutes went by before her mom, Julie, and I realized Holden and Katelyn were playing by themselves, together. They had a plan: they were filling Barbie's bathtub up with water. They went up and down the stairs together, filling a little blue bottle with water and dumping it in the tub. We knew the plan was doomed - no way would Barbie fit and NO WAY would this whole thing come to fruition without a spill. We were right, but it was nice to see them working together.
The next day, he and Cassidy, at Cassidy's house, moved about from toy to toy, but they did it together with very little discord. All the sudden, Cassidy's parents, Denis and Sandie, and Kevin and I, realized we were having a nice, relaxing conversation without much interruption. Then Saturday, Ethan and Maggie came over, and, even though they haven't played together in months, got right down to business. They rode their scooters, they watched the train and played with cars with nary a fight between them.
Last weekend, Holden made some huge strides in overcoming some long-standing fears. He recently informed us that he's "strong enough" - his way of saying he's grown up - to ride the merry-go-round. He rode one once last summer at a street fair and cried bloody murder the entire time. So, with his newfound courage, we went to Griffith Park to ride the carousel. Holden literally shook with nervous anticipation, and his smile seemed a bit unsure. But he did it - twice - and was sooo proud of himself.
Then, figuring we were pushing our luck, we went on to Travel Town. Holden's had a couple up-close experiences with life-sized trains, and they were overwhelming and frightening. We didn't think he'd get near the big trains, let-alone ride the little one that went around Travel Town. He proved us wrong.
Holden's not the only one making great strides in becoming "stronger." Riley's physical, developmental and cognitive abilities keep growing and growing. He sits up by himself now for short periods of time and, when put down on his back, he flips over to his tummy and plays with whatever he can reach, or scoot to on his stomach.
Meanwhile, it seems like he's actually digressing when it comes to his nighttime sleep habits. He's asserting his will and doing all he can to try and entice us to pick him up when he cries at night. Gone are the nights when a pacifier and a little hand-holding would lull him back to Snoozeville. Now, he cries HARD and LOUD, and swats away our hands when we try to soothe him with head strokes and tummy pats. He flat-out refuses the pacifier, which is a relief we won't have to go to the trouble of weaning him off of it, but our secret weapon has been disabled.
It's heartbreaking when he cries, and we feel so helpless when there is nothing we can do but let him cry. We know he needs to learn to do some things by himself, like get back to sleep, but he protests about so few things it seems unfair he has to learn this way. And while he's gaining all this independence, it's juxtaposed by the fact that he's becoming more aware of us. He's figuring out we are separate from him, and it's a bit scary for him.
With every stage, the boys seem to be finding and conquering new fears. Each new accomplishment makes them a little more independent. Funny how we do all we can to usher them along, cheering as they go. We're so proud, and can only hope that - although they'll inevitably grow up - they'll never grow away.
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