Welcome to the World, Cuz!

Gabriel Martin joined big brother Miles and proud parents Lisa and Henrik Monday morning at 9:37 a.m. He entered the world via C-section butt first, and weighs in at 6 lbs, 6 oz. We can't wait to meet him!

Independence Day

For the past few weeks, Holden and Riley have been showing us in no uncertain terms that they are their own people. Generally, we encourage independence and free spirit, and in some cases, the change is quite welcome. Others, we're just not so sure what to do with.

Over the last couple of weekends, Holden has had some very successful one-on-one playdates. I call them successful because the crying was at a minimum, for everyone. For the first time, we saw him interact without needing very much adult supervision, and it was heartening to see. Holden generally needs a lot of attention and, even when other kids his own age are around, checks in with us constantly. At Katelyn's last week, probably a whole 20 or 30 minutes went by before her mom, Julie, and I realized Holden and Katelyn were playing by themselves, together. They had a plan: they were filling Barbie's bathtub up with water. They went up and down the stairs together, filling a little blue bottle with water and dumping it in the tub. We knew the plan was doomed - no way would Barbie fit and NO WAY would this whole thing come to fruition without a spill. We were right, but it was nice to see them working together.

The next day, he and Cassidy, at Cassidy's house, moved about from toy to toy, but they did it together with very little discord. All the sudden, Cassidy's parents, Denis and Sandie, and Kevin and I, realized we were having a nice, relaxing conversation without much interruption. Then Saturday, Ethan and Maggie came over, and, even though they haven't played together in months, got right down to business. They rode their scooters, they watched the train and played with cars with nary a fight between them.

Last weekend, Holden made some huge strides in overcoming some long-standing fears. He recently informed us that he's "strong enough" - his way of saying he's grown up - to ride the merry-go-round. He rode one once last summer at a street fair and cried bloody murder the entire time. So, with his newfound courage, we went to Griffith Park to ride the carousel. Holden literally shook with nervous anticipation, and his smile seemed a bit unsure. But he did it - twice - and was sooo proud of himself.


Then, figuring we were pushing our luck, we went on to Travel Town. Holden's had a couple up-close experiences with life-sized trains, and they were overwhelming and frightening. We didn't think he'd get near the big trains, let-alone ride the little one that went around Travel Town. He proved us wrong.




Holden's not the only one making great strides in becoming "stronger." Riley's physical, developmental and cognitive abilities keep growing and growing. He sits up by himself now for short periods of time and, when put down on his back, he flips over to his tummy and plays with whatever he can reach, or scoot to on his stomach.

Meanwhile, it seems like he's actually digressing when it comes to his nighttime sleep habits. He's asserting his will and doing all he can to try and entice us to pick him up when he cries at night. Gone are the nights when a pacifier and a little hand-holding would lull him back to Snoozeville. Now, he cries HARD and LOUD, and swats away our hands when we try to soothe him with head strokes and tummy pats. He flat-out refuses the pacifier, which is a relief we won't have to go to the trouble of weaning him off of it, but our secret weapon has been disabled.

It's heartbreaking when he cries, and we feel so helpless when there is nothing we can do but let him cry. We know he needs to learn to do some things by himself, like get back to sleep, but he protests about so few things it seems unfair he has to learn this way. And while he's gaining all this independence, it's juxtaposed by the fact that he's becoming more aware of us. He's figuring out we are separate from him, and it's a bit scary for him.

With every stage, the boys seem to be finding and conquering new fears. Each new accomplishment makes them a little more independent. Funny how we do all we can to usher them along, cheering as they go. We're so proud, and can only hope that - although they'll inevitably grow up - they'll never grow away.

Fun Stuff

We here at the Nix Family have been quite busy lately. Here's the proof, for your viewing pleasure:
Riley is really getting into this eating thing. Here he is with peas.
We spent my comp day and Kevin's 9/80 day off as adults. We went to the LA County Museum of Art and an expensive lunch (with white linens!).

Grandma Sheila and Grandpa Steve are having tons of work done on their house, so they were staying at a hotel. Lucky for us, it was in the middle of a heat wave and they had a pool! Riley had his first swim and seemed OK with it.




Holden and Riley spent the morning with daycare buddies Katelyn and Taylor. Everyone was on their best behavior and played very well together.

A.M. Babble From The Back of a 4Runner*

"The doggy is coooowld. He has to go in the hoooowwwse. Everyone is sleeping. Everyone is sleeping. Everyone is sleeping. Everyone is sleeping. (Maniacal giggling, thrashing about). (Incoherent) BOO! BOO! BOO! 1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - BOO!....

"Christmas is owwver. Hannukkah is owwwver. Halloween is owwwver. Winter is almost over. Don't go fast, Mom, there are cars in front of us.... I don't see a train, maybe it went bye-bye....

"Mommy, I'm getting tired. Mom, what are you doing? Are you going fast? Someone poked me in the eye. I think it was Daddy....

"Christmas is owwwver...."

*Yes, I was writing notes while waiting at red lights.

Make Love, Not War

Every once in awhile, I have to work a Sunday shift. This is usually a pain, but it has it's benefits - like a comp day mid-week to do whatever I please with. Most the time, these shifts are boring and I find myself on assignments that are not newsworthy, but they have "good art" and can easily take up 15 inches of newsprint.

This past Sunday, I was assigned to cover a peace rally at Polliwog Park in Manhattan Beach, which is one of Holden's favorite weekend haunts. More than 350 people were probably there, many of them in families, to bring attention to what they term is a senseless war with many thousands of U.S. troops being killed for no reason. Since I'm a reporter and am supposed to stay neutral on the topics I cover, at least publicly, we'll leave it at that.

But, it did get me thinking. What do we do with our time? And what are we teaching our kids to do with theirs? I couldn't help but admire these people for getting off their duff on what started as a dreary, rainy morning to make themselves heard - and show their children, and everyone else's children, the importance of having a voice. I've never been one to protest or have radical public opinions on current events and politics (and frankly, while attending college in San Francisco, the Protest Capital of the World, I got pretty annoyed with those I described as "professional protestors," willing to hold signs and chant about anything). However, while we're busy instilling values like education, an appreciation of the outdoors and empathy – I’m wondering if we’re failing to stress an important one: Making A Difference.

I have to admit, I actually hate that phrase because it is the tagline of the Daily Breeze and we’re supposed to be out there making a difference and inspiring others to do the same. I now know that’s not true – they really want us out there making them money. Lots and lots of money. But I digress. I’m now wondering about the example we’re setting for Holden and Riley by our dearth of charitable and selfless activities.

Sure, we often contribute blood and money to the Red Cross and make various donations to some pet funds, like those that protect the environment and research deadly diseases. When there’s a natural disaster somewhere in the world, we whip our checkbook right out. But it’s really not THAT much. Maybe we need to combine our lessons and get out there, get physical – either with our bodies or are voices – and show them how to stand up for what they believe in. We don’t have to be chanting “One, Two, Three, Four, We Don’t Want Your Stinkin’ War!” to demonstrate ways to give back to our community.

We try modeling polite and kind behavior, and we can tell that Holden is already thoughtful. But maybe, when we got about our weekends, we might want to take some time to pick a few pieces of trash up off the beach or take some clothing and toys to those who need it. It won’t be the most fun we had, but it will be worth it.

Riley: Six Months

At six months, Riley is finally more than a food-eating, poop-generating, narcoleptic machine. He laughs! He (tries to) talk! He plays with toys! He vibrates every part of his body in sheer excitement if you happen to throw a glance his way! What fun!

We forgot how quickly they grow and develop as babies. The developmental milestones keep coming fast and furious. And little Riley just takes it all in stride - his eyes wide, his fist shoved in his mouth.

Luckily, he transitioned easily from Mellow Newborn to Mellow Infant. He’s definitely getting a mind of his own, though. He shoves the booger sucker (aka bulb syringe) away with great might, makes an annoying, fussy “eh-eh-eh-eh” sound until he gets what he wants and turns away at the sight of the medicine dropper. (Which makes no sense because that is NOT the medicine we grew up on. That stuff tastes like candy. It just doesn’t seem right.)

We’ve been working hard to get Riley to sleep through the night. It began, as we previously wrote, a couple months ago. First, we had to get him to fall asleep on his own following a bedtime routine of milk, reading and a little rocking/singing. Most nights, that’s the way it goes. Sometimes, though, he falls asleep nursing out of pure exhaustion, and I’m just too exhausted myself to wake him up so he can fall asleep again. Other nights, he fights sleep like it’s the devil, requiring return visits to his crib side to offer a pacifier and a hand to hold.

After all that, he sleeps worse now than he did as a newborn. He usually wakes up a couple times a night, requiring the pacifier and a hand to get back to sleep. We’d like to let him cry it out, not because we’re cruel, but because that’s the way they learn. Unfortunately, that keeps all of us up, including Holden, who isn’t being the greatest sleeper himself. Riley gets a “dream feed” around 9:30 p.m. before we head off to bed, and we try to get him to go at least seven or eight hours after that before he eats again. He does come pretty close most nights, but he constantly changes it up on us. He pretty much stalls out at seven hours, even though he has gone more - so we know he can, which is very frustrating.

There was some optimism that the introduction of “food” would help him sleep longer, but, like his older brother, that was not the case. I shouldn’t really complain though because, compared to Holden at six months, Riley is a great sleeper. We know it could be so much worse than it is.

Little by little, we’re catching glimpses of Riley’s emerging personality. What stands out most is how affectionate he is. The whole hand holding thing is big for him. He likes to stroke our hands with his soft little fingers and grasp our fingers in his fist, sometimes waving them around like he does with his toys. It’s somehow very relaxing for him. He also gives little kisses, diving his big, hard head toward ours with his slobbery mouth agape. One of his teachers at daycare told a story the other day of how she was holding both Riley and his friend Taylor, who is a few days older. Taylor was crying and Riley kept reaching his little hand out to hers, and tried to kiss her. She didn’t seem so into it, but he gets total props for being a gentleman.

It's just nice having such a sweet little guy around. The babyness of it all is so overwhelming, and I find myself daydreaming at work about soft wrist rolls, milk breath and hair so soft it feels like suede. Soft, sweet Riley man.