Holden: 17 Years

 At 17, Holden is in the driver's seat - literally and figuratively. 

After a pandemic-caused delay, Holden earned his driver's license in September. Unfortunately, he hasn't had many places to go, but likes to drive the family around and will get behind the wheel for local errands. He also likes to combine three of his favorite things: driving, food and being alone. A couple times a month, after online classes end at 12:35 p.m., he'll drive to get himself some lunch. Not only does this help quash his cuisine cravings, but it also gives him fleeting moments of solitude and independence. He's a really good driver, albeit there is so much to learn and time until it becomes second nature. After some time, he relaxes into it. There's so much to be aware of and thinking about all the time, but I don't worry a lot when he's driving. He's proven himself responsible and continues to improve.

He's also driving his own future - and doing so in the fast lane! We always knew Holden was a dedicated student and interested in learning and earning high marks. This year was a challenge like no other. A junior year with four AP classes, all online from his bedroom. Like most challenges Holden faces, he rose to it and exceeds our expectations. With a consistent 4.3ish GPA and a PSAT score of 1310, Holden is ensuring his future is his to choose. He is attending college fairs online, working with a school college counselor and a private one we hired to help him choose schools and help us with the financials. He has his sights set on an internship this summer, as well as getting a head start on college with a class at El Camino Community College. In selecting courses for next year, he didn't take the easy way out and kept to rigorous, challenging courses - including one or two more at El Co. He's preparing for the SAT in a month by taking a practice SAT online every weekend - completely his plan and his dedication.

He is working toward a higher degree in astrophysics. It's the perfect goal for this kid who has thought about space since he was a little guy and naturally gravitates toward computer science. He taught himself coding a couple years ago for fun and takes advantage of being able to watch rocket launches on his second monitor when they happen during school. Many times he comes down to watch it on the large TV in the living room, and he's so knowledgeable about the science and process behind each launch. We spent hours together one weekend watching the SpaceX Crew Dragon blast off then dock at the International Space Station the next day.

All of this against the backdrop of what could only be described as the strangest year any of us will ever experience. The COVID-19 pandemic brought much fear to all of us and Holden, ever the rule-follower, understood the critical importance of masks and distance and kept to it all without complaint. It's only now, as we near the end of our year-plus quarantine, that he is starting to get antsy for a return to school. He knows he'll learn better in the classroom and is starting to look forward to seeing his friends. During the entire year, he only saw some of them a few times for lunches in the park. Luckily, he's got a great group of friends - most of whom he's known since the earliest elementary school days - and they keep in close contact. They chat through classes and play video games together.

In December, he finally was confirmed with his class. They created and led a beautiful service on the theme "Light in the Dark," which went well with Hannukah and the challenges everyone faced in 2020. He wrote and read an essay that was thoughtful and touching.

Through it all, he has kept an amazing attitude. We hardly ever fight and he and his brother, despite existing 10 feet away from each other all day every day, still get along so well. Holden is understanding and patient. He is aware of our unique family dynamics and knows how to navigate them, avoid conflict and tries to help others do the same. His sarcasm and sense of humor feel both refreshing and familiar, as I see both Kevin and I in him in that way. He is knowledgeable about current events and politics and remained interested and engaged in last year's election news.

Dear Holden,

We have spent a lot of time together this past year. It was unexpected but, for me, it was one of the brightest silver linings of this entire COVID-19 experience. We take walks together and we drive around on errands. We have more family meals and play games together. Our conversations are about everything: friends and family, current events and space and, mostly, your education and future. I love listening to your stories and thoughts and have even found myself seeking and trusting wise counsel from you on issues I face. Your advice is thoughtful and helpful and I've appreciated hearing your reasonable perspective on things.

Your future is our present and it is exciting to be a part of it. It's, of course, bittersweet. I can't wait for you to experience college and life on your own but, man, am I going to miss you around here! It's hard to believe that, in a year and a half, you'll be moving out. I hope the close bonds we share now will last and grow and you know you can always talk with us about whatever is on your mind.

You mentioned recently that maybe you'll become a professor, and that makes a lot of sense to me. I think about how you recently taught me to play chess. You are patient and kind, teaching me by letting me fail and then learn from my mistakes. I'm no match for you, but you still take the time to play with me because you know that practice is the only way I'll get better. You were praised as an effective madrichim and Hebrew tutor at Temple for the same grace you showed with the students there.

Whatever you do and wherever you go - even if it's in space - I have every confidence in the world that you will be successful and happy. You've had your eyes on the stars for a very long time and they are in your reach because of your own drive. I couldn't be more proud.

I love you!

Mama