Holden: 12 Years

A year ago we were looking forward with a little nervousness to the next chapter in Holden's life: Middle School. We approached the milestone with confidence, but couldn't help feel a little trepidation at all the changes a new school and adolescence can bring. As with everything Holden tackles, the transition was seamless.

We are really proud of him for making the decision to apply for the Associated Student Body, which was a sacrifice and a commitment. It meant changing his lunch period so he wouldn't have the opportunity to eat with his friends, and  giving up his "free" advisement period to spend the time planning, strategizing and working. But he has loved the opportunity to be a leader and an insider, and has had a great time planning and working at fun events, like dances, pep rallies and fundraisers.

His grades are fabulous and he's been nothing but responsible with his school work. He walks home alone every day after school and is in charge of getting his chores and homework done. Sometimes, he leaves again for Hebrew School carpool or soccer practice, and there hasn't once been an issue. He doesn't have a cell phone (which he doesn't complain about too much), but always manages to find a phone to use when he needs to check in or get permission from us for something. He has earned and kept our trust.

He is still equal parts video gamer and book worm. He is enjoying another spring soccer season and remains a good sport and committed to his team.

And while we are now one year closer to the official "teen" years, I'm happy to report that we're not (yet) seeing any of the emotional, sassy attitude that can be a hallmark of this time. Not that he doesn't have his moments. I don't think of him as an overly emotional child, but there are times when exhaustion and frustration get the best of him. One morning last week, he clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed and stressed about some unfinished homework. When he saw that I made cinnamon toast for breakfast on Trader Joe's wheat bread, he lost it. It was one of those all-to-common scenarios in my kitchen where food the kids have eaten for a decade they suddenly don't like. Apparently, this particular bread was now on that list. And there were tears when I expressed my frustration.

Holden recovers quickly, though. I don't mind a little pushback from him, anyway, as I worry that he is so easygoing that he doesn't stand up for himself. But I see him do it more and more, with us, Riley and even his friends. It's not always handled with finesse, but learning how to handle frustration is a lesson a lifetime in the making.



His sense of humor remains one of my most favorite of his traits. As he grows older, he recognizes subtle nuances in the jokes we make (often at his brother's expense) and shares a knowing smile with us. He is really fun to joke around with in text messages, and gets the puns and word play I often use, and is quick to fire back his own quips.


My other most favorite trait is his loving nature. Yeah, he's a big kid who doesn't need a hug and kiss good-bye every morning. And I'm fine with that, because I know he'll more than make up for it at other times. He often stops me in the kitchen to lean in for a hug (the top of his head already past my chin) and, at bedtime, he reaches out and holds on, still relishing in the hugs, kisses and tiny tickles.

Dear Holden,


This is your official last year of "childhood." You will be a teen-ager next year and, according to the laws of Judaism anyway, you will be "a man." None of this scares me, because I know you will face everything that's to come with enthusiasm and ease. You have started down a path of academic and social success that I know will lead to only great places.


As you inch closer to adolescence every day, remember the things that matter: strong relationships with people you care about and who care about you, doing good things for others, always trying your hardest but accepting that you will make mistakes, expanding your mind and having fun.


It will be a busy year as we start to prepare for your Bar Mitzvah, and I'm so proud of how hard you are studying. It will be a fabulous event because we will be honoring you and celebrating your transition into adulthood. I am looking forward to that day, as I know you will shine like the star that you are.


You know Dad and I are proud of you, as I remind you often. I don't tell you this lightly, though. It is important to me that you understand how very special we think you are. We have so much confidence in you and have so enjoyed this journey with you for the last 12 years. You are, simply, fabulous.


Love,
Mama