Holden - 8 Years

In the last few days, as I’ve thought about what to write about in Holden’s yearly newsletter, I’ve found myself becoming sentimental and a little teary. It’s just that when I really slow down and think about him — how he’s so loving and bright and how he wrinkles his brow when he’s thinking hard and about all the cute freckles on his nose — it’s hard to not feel my heart swell with love and pride and to marvel at what an amazing person he has become.

He is in this strange place — right on the cusp between being a little boy and a big boy. He doesn’t play with his toys as much anymore, but he still does occasionally enjoy a good game of “pretend that…” with Riley as they fly planes, act out ninja scenes or stage elaborate rescues with Lego fire trucks. He sleeps with his arms around a cache of 14 stuffed animals, but still singles out Hippo as his favorite. He loves to play video games and, more often lately, getting lost in a good book (the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series being his favorite right now).

Holden still laughs at silly things, like lame jokes about putting on your pants before your underwear. But his sense of humor is also maturing as he finds comedy in sarcasm and subtle funnies. He is fine-tuning his funny side, too, by grasping nuances like comedic timing and facial expressions. There is nothing I enjoy more than sharing a big laugh with him, and I love that he is appreciating our sense of humor as much as we understand his.

Holden, though, still has some work in this area. For as much as he wants to make people laugh, he needs to learn the fine line that is crossed when a joke stops being funny and starts being cruel. Going through his backpack a month or so ago, I came across a series of letters in his writing. Each letter said things like, “Dear Jake, I think you’re smelly. From, Jane.” Holden was eating dinner at the time, so I held them up and asked what they were. “Oh! It’s not what it looks like!” he said, laughing. “It’s going to be a joke. I’m going to put them in people’s cubbies….” When he saw the expressions on mine and Kevin’s faces, he stopped smiling. “How would you feel if you went to your cubby and found one of these notes?” we asked. “Sad,” he said with a somber face. “Right. Do you want to make your friends feel sad? How sad are you going to feel when you end up in the principal’s office? How sad are you going to feel when all your friends are mad at you?”

This is what life is like on the cusp – common sense and good judgment have not quite caught up with his imagination. But when he does have these moments, it’s clear that he gets it. That’s one of the really great things about Holden, and always has been.

Otherwise, Holden continues to excel in everything. It’s not always easy, but he works so hard to improve and succeed, which is exciting. He started 2012 with a quiet resolution to improve his handwriting and the transformation was so amazing, he got an award the first week after winter break. Then, for months, he was stuck on the multiplication Math Star test (100 problems in 12 minutes). He started out missing 25 or 30 and, over time, consistently started missing one or two. After a couple weeks of flash cards and pop quizzes over breakfast, he finally came home with 100 percent on the test. He got an award at the Assembly that week and our praise and admiration as we stuck it to the refrigerator. Now, it’s on to division. But he will do it, despite missing 55 the first time and not even finishing it, because he can accomplish whatever he puts his mind to.

He spent the summer in swimming lessons, the fall playing soccer and is now into his third Little League season, this time on the Orioles. Again, this is where it’s hard to be on the cusp. He is one of 12 8-year-olds who don’t quite get the subtle strategies of the game, yet are now pitching to the other team and keeping scores that count. On top of this, he is still very active in Cub Scouts, and earned his Wolf badge the night before his birthday, marking all his accomplishments in learning how to be a good citizen, be safe, eat right and such. Holden has never met an extra-curricular activity he didn’t like, and eagerly took art, chess, mathemagic and other after-school classes at CDC. We have to be careful in mentioning any activity around him because he’ll be sure to whine, “I want to do karate! I want to skate!” If only there was more time in the day.

Holden remains the most amazing big brother there is, which should really stop surprising us at this point. Even on his birthday morning, when Riley got in trouble for not listening or getting ready, Holden — who gets visibly upset during our battles with his brother — put a hand on his hip, rolled his eyes and told Riley to get in gear. Then, he looked at me like, “Geesh, this kid!” Last week, Riley got hit in the head with a bat by one of Holden’s teammates after baseball practice. While Kevin rushed Riley to the ER, Holden went on to Cub Scouts and the care of some great friends. We were told by several of his friends’ parents how upset and worried he was about Riley after his initial adrenaline from the excitement wore off. He was unable to participate and crying. He simply loves the Ra that much.

And, simply, he is loved back that much by all of us. It’s been amazing to watch him grow and learn and to witness the intensity with which he approaches his activities and challenges. He is strong and sensitive, smart and silly and just so very neat. I hope he never changes.

Happy 8th Birthday to my Holden. We love you big.
Mama and Dada

For old time's sake, here is a brief look back at our little bean, just days old. It's hard to believe that was eight years ago: