For as much as I want to move, there is a huge part of me that will really, really miss this little home. It's the only home the boys have ever known, and it is where we had so many firsts. First words, steps, "I love yous," tears... they were all here between these four walls. That I'll never again see them tearing through the living room at full speed or choo-chooing their trains through the dining room or lining all the cars and planes up on the edge of the rug seems unfathomable.
Although this isn't the first home Kevin and I have shared, it is the first one that was really ours. When I think of all the little (and big) touches we put on this place - the painstaking hours we spent looking for the perfect pendant lights for the kitchen or the days of cutting, painting and replacing door jams - I almost feel as if I'm in mourning for a dear, lost friend.
It's about the end of an era. In this home - on that glider and on that couch - I've spent countless hours feeding, cuddling and reading to the boys. From burrito-wrapped newborns who slept snugly against the couch cushions to squirmy infants who lay on their side and nursed for hours - I know those days are gone. Leaving the place where those special times happened, never to return again, is just too much acknowledgment that those days are over.
While I look forward to making new memories against a new backdrop, I will always, always hold a special place in my heart for 15516 Chadron Ave. Backed-up plumbing, damp walls and possibly dangerous electricity be damned. It was all worth it to have a warm home filled with love and fun. Our final good-bye is just days away, and as I imagine closing the door behind me one last time, I'll remind myself that I'm only walking away from some wood and plaster.
But I'll know I'm leaving behind so much more.
Thanks for the memories.
No comments:
Post a Comment