They say that imagination is the key to success. I've never known who “they” are, but I sometimes wonder if “they” really know what the hell “they” are talking about. In our house these past months, imagination has mostly lead to misunderstanding, frustration and the occassional blow-up.
Don't get me wrong. I love many things about Holden's burgeoning imagination. I love the way he gets down on the floor, his head resting on his arm, as he moves various toy planes and cars around while, in his sweet sing-songy voice, narrating their actions. If I really listen, I'll hear him talking about flying to Colorado, visiting another planet or the various happenings in his City. I don't always love his City, because sometimes he thinks the rules that apply there apply here. But I support his having his own City, where he works and there's always cupcakes. He sometimes stays there, he says, and will live there when he's eight.
I also love that his imagination has brought him the ability to play peacefully ... by himself. He now climbs into his head and, well, hello ... a brand new playmate. Where did you come from? This playmate doesn't steal his toys or knock down his Lego castles. They don't fight or run around in mad circles together. By playing with his imagination, he's learned to play independently. When I think back on the collicky baby who turned into the toddler that constantly demanded full attention, I welcome imagination with open arms. If I could, I'd offer it cookies and milk to make sure it stays around awhile.
But sometimes (and you knew there'd be a “but” in here somewhere), that imagination can be pesky. It whips off its do-gooder mask and shows itself as The Liar. For instance, during one of our many recent readings of The Gulps, Holden announced that he likes celery. The Gulps are a fat family who learn that eating right and exercise is great. There's a picture of Papa Gulp munching a celery stalk and, for, like, four days, Holden said he not only liked celery, but would I please buy him some? That weekend, I did, and Holden coached as I cut it and spread peanut butter on it just the way he wanted it. Boy, was he excited about eating that celery.
He sat down at the table, three sticks in front of him, and announced: “I don't like celery.” My response: “Are? You? Kidding? Me?” (Note to reader: This was three-quarters of the way through Kevin's five-day ski trip/My five days of single parenting). To make a long and painful story short: I ordered him to sit there until he ate his celery; he cried ... a lot; he told me he was “super mad” at me; I went into the other room, counted to 10, then poured some wine; Holden eventually went to bed – an hour early – with no books or songs.
I tossed the uneaten bushel of bendy stalks away a few days later.
Since this is such a momentus entry, with Holden turning 4-years-old, I'd like to take a bit of space here to address Future Holden (who I'm sure will one day Google himself and find this blog buried in the archives).
Dear Holden,
Today, you turn four. For four years, we've watched as you've grown from a soft bundle of drooly tears into the long, lean, spirited and sensitive boy you are. It's a transformation that's left us awestruck, bewildered and fascinated. Every moment of every day since you came into this world has been different for your father and I. Because of you, our hearts have grown, broke and come close to exploding in ways we've never thought possible. You're maddening, you're cute and we love you more than any blog entry could reflect.
We hope that, as you grow, you stay true to who you are. The temptation to be like your friends and do the things they do will always be strong, we know. You have the energy, the goofiness and the curiosity to be sucked easily into Boy World. From what we've seen at daycare, Boy World now is similar to the Boy World of our childhood. In Boy World, boys are fascinated with violence and guns, are careless and reckless when traveling in packs, clown around in class and scoff at authority. You will likely spend more time than I care to think about in Boy World. But I will always know that, deep down, your big heart will lead you eventually to the correct path. Along the way, I hope you find meaningful relationships, love, success and happiness. Your Dad and I promise to travel with you as far as you'll let us, then watch from the side as you go on your own. We will always cheer for you, and we will always love you.
Happy Birthday. I love you,
Mom
Celebrating quietly at home with another cupcake:
Gift from Mom, Dad and Riley:
We let Holden stay up late on his birthday so he could have some alone time with his new toy:
Holden sweet:
Holden goofy:
At Grandma Bonnie's house, Holden taught Riley how to strap himself in, then got stuck:
Hallie helped Holden open some gifts, and then some:
Holden wanted the Power Ranger cake, but it wasn't available anymore when we ordered it. He went with his second choice, pleasing Grandpa Larry, we're sure:
Brenny certainly enjoyed the cake:
Riley just enjoys any food:
A glimpsed of Holden's future:
