It’s easy to forget, though, especially with the constant stream of conversation and narration from his mouth. At one moment, you’re having a pretty normal conversation with him, talking about plans for the weekend, what he did at daycare that day or how many people are in the car, and how many of those people are boys and girls. The next moment, though, you find yourself sucked into a tear-filled negotiation over something as simple as more milk or shoes.
Many of Holden's sentences lately begin, "But I..." and "I just..." He is constantly trying to explain why it's so important that he do what it is he's doing, even when we've told him not to. A pretty typical conversation in the morning goes something like this:
Mom: "Holden, please put your shoes on."
Holden: (Grabbing a toy car from Riley) "But I just need to..."
Mom: "Holden, please give that toy back to Riley and get your shoes on now."
Holden: 'I just..."
Mom: "Holden, NOW!"
It's frustrating that he's frustrating, and even more frustrating that we lose our patience. But it's like Chinese water torture. We don't want to be angry parents; we're actually quite proud of what we thought (before kids) was our kick-back, laid-back attitudes. We never knew how limits could be pushed so easily. And it breaks our hearts when Holden says something about us "being angry all the time." We want him to know we're not like that, so we try to start each day fresh and understanding, repeating our "be patient" mantra. Usually, by breakfast, someone's yelled and someone's cried.
It's such a shame because, in general, Holden is a sweet and good-natured boy. We know all the pushing is normal 3-year-old behavior, but it's not any consolation. So we try to focus on the things about him that make us proud and happy, and there are really so many.
For instance, Dad couldn't help but beam and cheer one recent evening after hearing about Holden's suave ways with the ladies. Rhonda reported that he sat on the couch between two girls, Kayela and Katelyn, and took turns kissing them both. Apparently, Dad thinks he's gonna live vicariously through his son's blossoming romantic life. Kayela even told her grandfather a couple weeks ago that she's getting married to Holden.
Holden constantly impresses us, with both his loving, affectionate ways and the eagerness with which he embraces learning. Often lately he exclaims, "I just did math!" after deducing things like that there are four people in the room, one is a girl and three are boys, and if the girl left, there would be three boys. He's learning to read simple words, and can recognize them when he sees them. His imagination is exploding as well - he's starting to play pretend with his toys, giving Weeble people on the bus scenarios that mimic real-life, and he can spin a good yarn. Today, he told Grandma Bonnie that the blue car was at the car repair store "because it's broke, a race car hit it and hurt it a little bit." (It actually just went for it's 60,000 mile check-up, but Holden's version was better).
As we've watched some friends and cousins turn 4, we can see how big of a transition this third year can be. We can already see him becoming a bit more independent. We've waited for so long for him to learn to play by himself, and it helps that he has Riley to interact with and entertain. It won't be long until the two of them barely need us when they get lost in their kid world of fun and imagination. It won't be hard to let go, as long as Holden keeps a few of his Holdenisms, because we don't think we can survive without his stopping mid-play to look at us and say, "I love you."
