The Fam

Candy Houses

Holden hosted a candy house building party for two of his daycare friends, Grant and Katelyn. We were surprised that, despite initial excitement, Holden was the only one really into building the house. Grant flat-out refused to even try any candy and Katelyn was quickly lured away by a whole room full of toys she'd never seen before!

Denise, Holden, Tammy (Grant's mom) and Katelyn get to building.

Julie and Taylor.

We had the kids blow-off some energy in the backyard before everybody headed home for lunch and naps.

Channukkah

Holden's third Channukkah and Riley's first didn't disappoint. They've both received some really fun, nice gifts and we looked forward to lighting the menorah as a family every night.

Riley models his new towel from Aunt Di and Uncle Ken after a bath.

Holden among the Festival of Lights.

Some cool new toy that Riley likes to watch and Holden likes to play with from Grandma Bonnie.

The first night, the boys get gifts from Mom and Dad.

A new car toy from Aunt Janeen.

Holden got a scooter from Mom and Dad and is surprisingly great on it.

The first night of Channukkah was also Kevin's birthday.

The fun doesn't end in our family with the eighth candle. On to Christmas, where the orgy of presents and good things to eat is sure to continue.

'Tis The Season

While most people's thoughts this time of year turn to last minute gift shopping and festive recipes, we in The Nix Family are consumed by high fevers, wicked-breath inducing congestion, barf and sleepless nights.

It all began with a call from Holden's daycare Tuesday informing me that Holden is a very sick child and I must come fetch him. At that time, I was half-way through the grocery store with Riley, who was about due to eat. Right. Step up the shopping, rush home with a crying baby, feed him and off to get a very sad looking Holden. That feeding was pretty much the last time Riley's received some of that real good one-on-one attention infants are due. He's lucky if he gets fed and changed lately, what with the work Holden's mystery illness has brought on us.

For the last two days, we've thrown the rules out the window. Sleep in our bed? Sure. Another night? Why not. Milk all day and no food? OK. Five hours of television a day, with four of those hours being Dora? What the hay. It's hard though, being torn between being our usual hard asses and wanting to cuddle, cuddle, cuddle for hours straight, holding my ailing baby who seems so confused by this hot-cold-hot-cold existence he now lives in. Even now, on our third night of this disease, he is, as I write this, crying, "I want my mommy," for the sixth or so time since he went to bed two hours ago. I paused there, to debate with Kevin the pros and cons of going to him or letting him continue to cry. Yes, it's getting louder and sadder and has turned into, "I'm cold." Kevin reluctantly responds.

What's also hard about this is that, for hours at a time, he seems like his normal Holdenself, not sick in anyway. He cheerfully jabbers on, narrating our day, like all is well. And then he turns. His temperature shoots to 103 and his mood plunges in equal denominations.

From Holden's room right now: "Rub my back!" "Ssshhhh." "I want to cuddle." "(unintelligible murmurs)." "I want to hold you." "Sssshhhh."

The timing of all this couldn't be worse. Last night was his little show at daycare where, I was told when I picked him up Tuesday, he was to be the star with a solo performance of "The Star Spangled Banner." I cannot ever remember feeling more disappointed than I did about missing that show. You only get one shot at seeing your 2-year-old put on a winter concert.

Also, on a more selfish front, this was to be my last week of solo maternity leave. Kevin and Holden are both off next week and we have 10 days of nonstop family togetherness before I return to work and Riley starts daycare with Holden. I was looking forward to these last couple days alone with Riley - gobbling up his sweet babyness, storing it in my cheeks for the long, hard days of work ahead. Instead, I've guiltily abandoned him to lay by himself batting at his toys or watching his mobile while I tend to Holden's never-ending list of needs.

Yeah, this illness is a jip.

Officially Official

The Daily Breeze has been sold. The details are here.

I still don't really know what this means. The editor gave me a heads up Thursday and I went into the office Friday to see for myself the new owner, Dean Singleton, a man a fellow reporter called the Pac Man of Newspapers.

Black and White

No Sleep Training

The only learning that's going on during Riley's sleep training is the rest of us are learning to live without sleep.

It all started off well and good a little over a week ago when we began with the only goal of putting Riley down to bed awake, but drowsy. We established a new bedtime routine, complete with music and books, and then down he goes. Most nights, he falls asleep with minimal crying. However, while he used to sleep quietly for several hours when we put him down dead asleep, he has some periodic crying spurts until he gets his dream feed before I go to sleep - usually around 10 p.m.

So, with that hurdle crossed, we moved on a few days ago to working toward getting him to sleep eight hours before eating again.

As he's done for months, Riley does great - for about six hours. Then, when his little internal alarm clock goes on at 4:11 a.m. (I'm not kidding - almost that exact time every morning), he cries. What follows is somtimes OK, with just a few minutes of crying here and there for the next couple of hours. But some mornings, like this one, I end up giving in and feeding him after 7 1/2 hours, unable - no, unwilling - to listen to more of his pathetic wailing knowing that I'll be able to feed him only 30 minutes later. What we probably should do is just let him cry himself to sleep at that point, but it's really hard.

This may all backfire. But we're exhausted. The hardest part about it is that the crying comes so close to when Holden's own internal alarm clock sounds - usually around 5:40 a.m. Any noise in the house around that time, from an unwitting sneeze to the cat creeping by his door and creaking the hardwood floor, can wake Holden. Once Holden's up, might as well throw in the towel, cause we're all up.

Amazingly, though, Holden hasn't had any reactions to Riley's cries in the dark. If he wakes up, he doesn't say anything.

But now I'm getting nervous. I (theoretically) return to work in three weeks and, if you could see how many times I've had to hit the delete button while typing this, you'd know I'm in no shape to make it through an entire day of thinking.

Huh?

So, an article ran in Friday's paper that is the tip of the iceberg in my professional career. There is nothing like finding out what's going on with your job than reading about it in the paper.

I've read this article twice now, and, considering I write about legal mumbo jumbo for a living, I have no idea what any of this really means. Totally confused. In addition, nobody has any idea how this will transfer to real life.

I think, though, I've been lucky to avoid a lot of the drama associated with the sale of the paper, since I'm still on maternity leave. And for the first time in my life, I can actually picture being happy not returning to an office-type job for a little while and being a... wait for it... Stay At Home Mom - at least on a temporary basis.

Shocking, I know. I love my job and feel as if I'm living a dream to have a career that I've always wanted. I generally go to work happy every day. And believe me, there were jobs where Sunday night rolled around and I would literally vomit at the idea of returning. My job's not perfect - but it's challenging, fun and interesting.

But being at home with Riley these last few months has been wonderful. We stay busy - there are constantly errands and chores to be done. A lot of what's made it fun, too, I realize, is that a couple friends are also on maternity leave with their babies, and we like to hang. But, in general, Riley is so easy and fun to be with - I genuinely enjoy his company. We've become quite a pair. He's my constant companion, confidante and giggle buddy.

I regret that, by the time Holden and I got to this level - beyond the hours of newborny crying and never sleeping - it was about the time I had to return to work. I feel so lucky that I got to experience a more relaxed version of maternity leave. Motherhood 2.0.

While a career as a Mom requires much more physical and emotional energy than anything else I imagine I could do, I feel for the first time that being a SAHM could be as challenging, fun and interesting as any other job.

My professional future is a bit blurry now - the possibilities seem endless if this job hits the skids. It's just nice knowing that I have options. And one of those options, which seemed out of the realm of my scope of possibilities, might just be the most rewarding.

Riley: Four months

"Look over there! That way! No, back there! If I could only turn my head a couple more inches ... I'll just swing it back around in the other direction, damned if I hit my Mom's jaw with my big, hard head doing so!" If Riley's mind could be read, that would surely be what he's thinking most the time. For that, he's earned the nickname: "Looky Lou." At four months, Riley has become quite curious about the world around him, not wanting to miss a second of the action, even if it means fighting his heavy eyelids. It's made nursing a bit difficult because he's finding it's impossible to have his face pushed into his Mother's chest AND watching behind him at what Holden's doing.

When he's not contorting his body to see all that's new, he's using his strong little fists to touch and grab all that's in his reach. That's the genesis of yet another nickname: "Grabby McGrabs Alot." "What's this? Hair? Yum! I can pull that into my mouth! Hey, what's over here? Skin? Awesome! I can pinch this really hard with my sharp little nails to see what it feels like!"

With his new grabbing skills, Riley has also begun to play with a few little plush toys. Unfortunately, he's also experimenting with gravity. As a result, a soft, innocent giraffe that rattled so sweetly who became Riley's outing companion, has gone the way of other loveys lost in Old Navy during the holiday season. We pause a moment in mourning.

Starting this week, we are going to begin "sleep training" Riley, with the ultimate goal of getting him to sleep through the night. We were hopeful it wouldn't come to this, since he was doing four to six hour stretches starting when he was just a few weeks old. But, his nights remain exactly the same: He gets a "dream feed" while mostly asleep before I go to bed around 10 p.m., then he wakes anywhere between 1 a.m. and 4:30 a.m., then he's up again two to three hours later. It's unpredictable, it's exhausting and it's starting to make me loopy. I return to work in a month and cannot function without naps this way, so it will get ugly.

The sleep training involves putting Riley to bed still a bit awake, even if it means he's going to have to cry a bit. With most babies (including Holden), that's the easy part - within a week they usually go right to sleep without any crying. Of course, hearing your little one wail those first few nights is heart wrenching, and I'm not looking forward to that part again. After that, the idea is to get him to sleep longer stretches without eating. So, when he gets up in the middle of the night and it hasn't been six or so hours since he's eaten, it's Pacifier City. That's the hard part - especially since Riley comes pretty close to six hours. Chances are, I'll spend half an hour trying to get him back to sleep, only to end up feeding him because six hours will have passed.

As he's grown, so has the volume of his cries. He still doesn't cry much without reason and can usually be calmed down quickly. What's best, though, is his giggle. About once a day, he has a laughing fit that is the cutest, funniest thing ever. Full belly laughs from a wide open, gummy mouth. He's working on sounds now, too, with his most recent using his lower lip to go, "Bbbbbbtttttthhhhhh." And then he laughs hysterically.

Seriously, what could be better than that?