Riley: One Year

One year ago early this morning we were pacing the hospital's corridors and enjoying the warm night air as we talked about our fears. With Holden, it was fear of the unknown. Early that morning, as my contractions played a game of peek-a-boo and with the memory of Holden crying as we left for the hospital replaying in our minds, we decided that, this time, it was fear of the known.

One year ago this morning, Riley was born with very little effort. Twenty minutes later, Riley nursed, with very little effort. Then he slept a few hours, several times in a row, with very little effort. This was unknown, alright, but we were feeling less fearful.

One year ago this afternoon, Riley met Big Brother Holden, the rest of the family and a handful of friends. After nine months of struggling to picture life with another baby and all the uncertainties he would bring, he was there among us, fitting in seamlessly.

One year ago tonight, we bade ourselves to go to sleep with the dread all new parents feel: When will we be up again, and for how long? We were pleasantly surprised to find that Riley's sleepy, easygoing ways continued into the night.

And that's how Riley's first year has gone. He's easy, independent, a pretty good sleeper, a great eater and he fits into our lives like he belongs, like you can't even imagine a time when he wasn't here.

So much has changed in a year. We remember it like it was yesterday, yet, when we look at Riley, we see how much time has passed. Gone are the uncontrolled flails of sinewy limbs, replaced by the accurate and methodical movements of a 23-pound baby who gets around by crawling fast, cruising and, every now and then, a failed attempt at an unaided step. His soft coos became sweet giggles, long streams of babble and now, two almost words: What a dog says - "fffff," and what happens when you drop something: "uuuh-oooh."

As happy and laid-back as Riley is, he is not without his moments. Little baby eh-eh-eh cries are now demanding, loud-from-the-gut wails, usually accompanied by the throwing of a sippy cup and food and violent rocking. We got off easy with Holden in that, even though he may cry and argue, he is not the type of kid to throw himself to the floor in a foot and fist pounding tantrum. Determined and stubborn, Riley goes face-first to the floor when he doesn't get what he wants. This mini-tantrum is probably just a taste of what's to come.


It's exciting to see him growing, and we find ourselves looking forward to his walking and talking more than we thought. He's a part of the family, we just want him to be more a part of the action. We can tell he gets frustrated sitting by in a stroller as Holden bounds about, and we can't wait until the day comes when we can say: "Why don't you two go outside and play?"

But then there are times, like last night, that I slip back into sentimental sadness that the baby days are dwindling. After nursing, we read a book and he snuggled against me. His soft head wedged comfortably into my neck and his little hand playing absent-mindedly with my shirt, I rocked us and sang our usual Circle Game. The years may be slipping by fast, but I'll always cherish these sweet moments of little boy breaths and soft touches.